We're all familiar with the Friendster Slut™, a person who includes mere acquaintances and middle-school crushes among their "friends" to make everyone think they are really popular, but these rich heiresses bring a new, more literal sluttiness to their profiles. Casey Johnson, of Johnson & Johnson, includes "sex, pills, pole-dancing, licking lollipops and making fun of desperate debbies" among her interests, and was at Bungalow 8 last fall when our favorite The Simple Life star Nicole Richie smashed a cocktail glass in the face of the son of the Calumet Farm horse breeding family. Says another rich Nicole in a testimonial: "casey is a fun loving hooker, she blows a good pencil weiner and likes it! she is coragous and addorible... will you be my sex slave?" And here I thought saying in my profile that I was in an "open marriage" was pretty wild. Here's the Robot's profile. Look at all those friends.
If anyone has Casey in their Friendster network, let us know. Update: See below.
Note also that Casey is related to Jamie Johnson, who displayed the sordid lives of vapid heirs to the world in his documentary "Born Rich." -amy
Apparently, Ivanka Trump is connected to Casey, et al., on Friendster. We know someone who is connected to all of them. This is someone who fills a special need in our lives: she is our FriendsterPimp™ (her word). Now, due to the highly questionable nature of pimping Friendster profiles to your less-connected friends, we can't reveal her identity, but we can share these Friendster profiles, hosted on our own servers*, so you don't even need a F. profile to view them: Bijou Phillips
], Casey Johnson
]. We may have more in a few days: right now, our FriendsterPimp™ is busy slapping Ivanka Trump around for keeping too low a profile out on the streets lately. -adm
*Servers which, by the way, are hosted on a lighthouse station off the coast of the Isle of Man, outside any national jurisdiction.