The VMAs. Every year, I
The VMAs. Every year, I watch the damn things. Every year, I have to cleanse my entire body, including every internal organ and mucous membrane, with lye afterwards. Some observations:
-what perverse freak orchestrated the Parade of Celebrity Psychopaths, consisting of James Brown (with a big, flashing "James Brown" sign behind him, so the 14 year olds in the audience would know who he was) introducing Britney Spears (in a perfect hybridization outfit of Madonna and Rhythm Nation-era Janet Jackson) introducing Michael Jackson. The Artist of the Millennium. Whatever the hell THAT means.
-How did the Hives not win the fucking MTV2 award? Those Swedes were the realest rock of the whole night.
-Eminem is well on his way to complete Will Smith-ification. So dull at the acceptance speeches! And on and on with the Hayley stuff! At least we got him shirtless and tattooed for his performance, which was the best visual of the whole show.
-What is the difference, according to MTV, between rap and hip-hop? There was both a rap award and a hip-hop award. Isn't rap the music and hip-hop is the style? Or perhaps if it involves Ashanti, it's hip-hop? That's the best I can do.
-I want to take a bath in a big tub of money like Ludacris does.
-Do any real, actual rich people drink Courvoisier, or is it just nouveau-riche tastesless rappers who are pretending they have class?
-Holy Christ: Guns n' Roses. I still love Axl. I wet my pants. I jumped up and down with Jimmy Fallon. The New York Times spelled his name wrong (caption) (via Trashrock) (login req'd) UPDATE: Apparently, NYT has now fixed the misspelling, probably due to an email that T-Rock actually sent to Jon Pareles. And Axl perfectly described the sort of pathetic nostalgic appeal of the new GnR in his post-show interview with Kurt Loder: "And how do you make a whole bunch a guys that were something else into something that already was?" Exactly.