Amy's Robot

NYT on Jam Master Jay and his murder.

NYT has a lengthy article about eating competitions -- e.g., how many Russian meat dumplings can be eaten in 12 minutes? (Answer: More than 200, apparently.)

24, I'm on the hook again. What have ADM and I found to blog about for the past 4 months? I thought I was going to make it through this season without going back to this damn show, but it showed up at my apartment with flowers, called me "buttercup", cooked me rack of lamb, and told me I was always on its mind.

Some observations: You remember the rule that people figured out last season about how Good guys use Macs, Bad guys use PCs? Another rule appears to be Bad guys are smokin' hot foreigners who deceptively woo naive American women, at least one of whom was the southern alien of death in The Faculty.

About 10 minutes into the premiere, the producers of this show seem to suddenly realize that they made a horrible mistake in killing off Teri last season instead of that bitch-spawn Kim, who appears to serve no purpose on this show other than to be irritating and stand lolling around in doorways in her underwear even when her creepy boss is openly leering at her.

So after spending 45 commercial-free minutes silently wishing for Kiefer to open up somebody's face with a crowbar, or Something, ANYTHING to make this show bearable, and was just starting to nod off, and experience the sweet nectar of freedom, freedom from this show for the season, for the year, for the Rest Of My Life-- all hell breaks loose. Menacing whispers. Senseless violence. The full force return of good old Kiefer who hacks the thumbs off of dead bodies! Hooray! Yay! ....Oh... curses. Oh well. Back on the hook.

Here's a 22-page letter to a newspaper from the guy who killed those people at University of Arizona nursing school the other day.

Sorry, Gretchen: Girls Club got cancelled. After two episodes.

Illegal parking in Boston is out of control, and while some forward-thinking individuals want to fix it, some prominent politicians don't want to do anything about it. (''If they're parked half on the sidewalk and half on the street and there's a free flow of traffic and it's 2 o'clock in the morning, where is the public safety problem?'' said City Councilor James M. Kelly of South Boston.) Yet another reminder that NYC is 20 years ahead of Boston.

ADM is still a little hoarse from yesterday, but is allowing me to post this very funny/depressing article he found, about the recent Iraqi election. It's really worth reading all the way to the end.

Salon is about as grudgingly excited about the premiere of 24 as ADM and I are... oh wait. I'm actually not excited at all. Just preemptively pissed off that I'll be watching it tonight at 9. Kiefer has a beard. Nina better be parachuting out of exploding airplanes or making out with Mia Kirschner, that's all I'm saying.

Lengthy article in today's NYT re: serial killers who don't act like serial killers.

Ok, hey wait, has anyone else realized that DJ Qbert is in an Apple "switch" ad? Somehow this escaped my notice until today. I guess that makes him the second DJ to make an ad -- the first being that chick with the cool necklace. PS: geriatric skater Tony Hawk also switched.

The Times talks to the kids in the Bronx River Houses project, aka the birthplace of hip-hop, about why they love Eminem. Also: the VP of music and talent for BET says about Eminem: "he is the best lyricist, alliterator and enunciator out there in hip-hop music. In terms of rapping about the pain that other disenfranchised people feel, there is no one better at their game than Eminem."

The new multi-racial, Harvard law student Miss America has chosen abstinence until marriage as her focus for the year. Miss America organizers, surprisingly enough, are horrified.

Here's a primer on standard body language.

Here's the NYT on our old favorite/least favorite show, 24. They're going to have the 1 episode = 1 hour format again this year, contrary to rumor and common sense. Also, the DVD set of the first season is out already.

Greenpeace: NYC could be underwater by 2080, if global warming continues.

You heard it hear last, maybe: this is "probably" the last season of Buffy.

Dog shoots man.

Microsoft is in trouble for defacing NYC with its dumb MSN butterfly decals.

NYT has a review of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. [via fimoculous]

NYT ran a posed photograph on 9/20, involving a boy and the Lackawanna Al Qa*da cell. Now, they clarify (see bottom of page). [via medianews]

The Village Voice wants the Cape Cod Voice (circulation: 10,000) to change its name. Should the NY Times tell the LA Times to change its name, too? (via medianews)

Sniper's true hate: Oprah. Reublin said Muhammad never demonstrated any hatred except when discussing talk show host Oprah Winfrey, who Muhammad said would be "the downfall of mankind." Last line of this story.

Hairstyles of the rich and ruthless: here's rapper Khia Chambers (ever heard of her?) in 20 different mug shots.

The Smoking Gun, purveyor of fine incriminating legal documents, is scooping everyone on the sniper suspect: they've got restraining orders, shop-lifting warrants, and hospital records.

The Times on Television Without Pity. Interview with Wing Chun and Sars. In the New York Times freaking Magazine. I have. No. Words. [via Whiskas]

When it comes to Finland, they're way ahead when it comes to cell phones: "A relatively normal age to get a mobile phone is now 7..." Yeah, I know 60 Minutes did this story like 2 years ago, but still. [NYT]

Ok, ok: Just one more post on this whole Lizzie Grubman thing. There is a silver lining. Namely, the New York Times hatchet job which Amy links to below contains the following encouraging commentary on Grubman's pre-prison condition:

So, you see, it's not really all that bad.

So ADM scooped me on the Lizzie Grubman story, but I just want to post this as an addendum. The Times (who state the dimensions of Lizzie's jail cell--6x8) is obviously barely able to restrain themselves from punching their fists in the air and ramming black Mercedes SUVs up the ass of the Lizzie effigy they have hanging in their cubicles. As T-Rock comments, if there's anyone who symbolizes horrible rich New York condescension better than Lizzie, I don't know who they are.

Hey, Amy. Yeah hi. It's your blogging partner. Yeah, um, read this. It's Nick Hornby's top ten tracks he could not live without.

Actors and race cars: Newman, Hackman, McQueen...Priestley?. The story never ends. Funny excerpt: "The first celebrity I ever dealt with was Al Pacino," Mr. Barber recalled. "I picked him up in Manhattan, and he didn't know how to drive. Why would he? He lived in Manhattan." It was more a driving lesson than a racing lesson, he said. Oh, and here's some more Priestley non-acting news: he's bankrolling a wine magazine for Gen X'ers.

Lizzie Grubman, Amy's Robot's official publicist, begins serving her sentence today. Remember? SOCIALITE RUNS OVER HAMPTONS BAR PATRONS.

Decent poet Dana Gioia may take over the National Endowment for the Arts, since the former chairperson died after one week on the job. (Hey, that's just like The Ring!)

Sn*per is watching the news.

Former Clinton big-wig John Podesta wants to get to the bottom of UFOs.

Television Without Pity also not so psyched about those sassy lawyers in lipgloss on Girls' Club. Or, excuse me, girls club. (Ahem.) David E. Kelley, that is so "janet." Get over yourself.

Japanese designers have appropriated the Klan aesthetic for fashion.

In this enlightened age, we now have environmental beauty pagents, where hot girls in bikinis kneel in dirt and plant trees.

Here are a few reviews of Girls' Club, that new Ally McBeal x 3 girl-lawyer show on Fox. Gretchen Mol is in it. (Ahem.) The Boston Globe didn't like it (link fixed), but the Times did (sort of), and the LA Times doesn't really say what they think.

Since discriminating media consumers always visit Amy's Robot to get the real story, it is our obligation to inform you when things go wrong in the media: An AP writer has been fired for making things up -- not just sources, but whole institutions. [NYT] More details, no reg req'd.

The Breeders and Aimee Mann are Buffy fans.

New USDA seal for certified organic. [NYT]

ATTENTION ALL HEATHENS: Jesus was real. Also, Jesus had a brother. (Sorry, Catholics.) [NYT]

Eight NYU undergrads, cleverly disguised as self-indulgent teenage Carson Daly fans, tranformed TRL into a political forum to protest the forthcoming war. Fred Durst pouted. [via Becky]

Trouble for "The West Wing"...lower ratings, less money, no decent stories for Rob Lowe. [NYT]

Democrats: not exactly in a hurry to oppose Bush/martial law.

Hey, look...Animal Rights for Teens! [via Salon]

Yet another unintended consequence of 9/11: Gramercy Tavern replaces Union Square Cafe as NYC's favorite restaurant.

Meeting a new guy for a drink and wondering how well-endowed he is? Check out his index finger.

The New Yorker's fiction editor is changing: now it's a 32-year-old woman.

Stop the presses! Bjork's Mom is on a hunger strike! Something to do with aluminum.

Here's Ebert on Punch Drunk Love, and here's Salon on Auto Focus. Also, Salon has an interview with Paul Schrader, who directed Auto Focus.

The whole point of reading the paper edition of the New York Times is stories like this, buried in the back of the New York section: Barry Scheck describes Johnnie Cochran fighting with co-counsel about fees related to the Abner Louima case.

Don't mess with Scottish schoolchildren, or they will assault you with milk. [via T-Rock]

Sony's robot dog, Aibo, is getting some upgrades, including one that allows it to find its recharging station and charge up without human intervention. (NYT)

The Winona Spin Machine is fired up. Mom and Dad: she's a resilient, teenaged victim, as in The Crucible. "Not the character she played," mind you: "the witches".

Peter Frampton and his man-perm: single-handedly helping the people of Cincinnati to heal their racial wounds. [via Trashrock, login]

In response to the wildly popular Apple "switch" ads, Microsoft ripped off their idea to make their own Mac-to-PC switch ad, but with a made-up customer. I doubt Microsoft's customer will inspire as devoted a following as did everyone's favorite Mac-stoner Ellen Feiss. [via Becky]

Sherlock Holmes wins a fellowship for his contributions to science. "Tongue very slightly in cheek."

Karen Duffy: Most Beautiful to Worst Dressed -- Her Story.

Look! It's the return of Spiral Jetty!

Crossing the digital divide: Illiterate women in the Ivory Coast with no computer experience are using the Internet to find old rich white husbands.

Analysis of the fraud at Bell Labs. (NY Times)

The Onion asks a whole bunch of famous people if there is a God. Very brilliant. My favorite is Rick James. [via fimoculous]

Now you can pay $9.32 to have a porn star text message you. ADM is only charging $0.32. And he's steamy.

Sammy Hagar: that guy doesn't care almost as much as Eminem doesn't care. Currently, he's promoting his new album "Not 4 Sale" by appearing on Hollywood Squares. As far as I know, he's also still making his own brand of tequila, Cabo Wabo, and is also still a big golden retriever of a man (tm Whiskas).

Giuliani is getting paid $4 million to go to Mexico City and help them reduce their rampant crime. You know, just like he did in New York. Hey, look at all those jaywalkers he harassed and all those strip clubs he closed. Mexican cab drivers who kidnap their fares for days at a time, no problem.

Salon on why we're rude to waitresses. Also: Jimmy Carter. Think he's a good tipper? Of course he is! He didn't win that Nobel Prize last week for nothing.

Even though it reads like one of the breathlessly enthusiastic DJ reviews of a new Pavement album at the college radio station I used to work at ("Oh Steve Malkmus, I heart youuuuu!!!") this Voice track-by-track review of the Interpol album (sort of late, isn't it? I mean, MTV are already using Interpol songs in their own ads) is very perceptive. Especially when they say that one of their songs sounds like every single song The Smiths ever did at the same time, sort of like a greatest-hits tribute in 3.5 minutes.

Maxim Presents: a cross-marketed line of movies sure to make you nauseous. [via Whiskas]

If your time has no value at all, and you are still interested in winning that $1 million, watch the last episide of the doomed Push, Nevada on October 24. Yeah, I haven't watched it since the pilot either.

Here's a review of NYC's new Sex Museum.

Rep. Pete Stark doesn't trust W. and his advisers. He had some strong words during debate on the Gulf War II authorization. Really tough words.

WHAT in the HELL is going on? The whole world is turning upside down. Snoop quit smoking weed. [via Whiskas and Agent 0019]

Gulf War, the sequel, won't be as interesting: Christiane Amanpour has been banned from both Iran and Iraq. Interestingly, it's in partial retaliation for that Iranian director being denied access to the US (a subject previously covered here on the 'Bot.)

Music reminders: the new Tom Petty album and the new Jurassic 5 album are both out today.

Nerds are angry -- very angry -- about the way things are going on the planet Rubi-Ka, which doesn't exist.

The Salon review of Heaven is just a bit more focused and successful than the movie, I think. Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi were both very understated and compelling, but something about the usual subtlety of Kieslowski's images paired with Twyker's bluntness didn't quite come together. There are some wonderful moments. The film probably means a lot more as a part of a series than as a stand-alone. It's worth seeing. It's worth seeing again. I was, however, underwhelmed.

Remember the those same two stars in The Gift from a couple years back? They're good together.

I know a few art conservators who are going to be pounding their heads into the wall for the next 2 years over this easily preventable disaster. [via ADM who decided not to post the story]

Salon's review of Tom Shales's new book about SNL is itself a decent summary of the show.

Garcia Marquez's memoirs are on the way.

All you need to know: the lead sentence in this story is "Japan's toilet wars started in February."

Less violent crime = less memorial graffiti.

Just want to make sure that everyone is aware of Heaven, a movie written by Krzysztof Kieslowski, a big favorite here at Amy's Robot, as part of an intended three-part series, Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. Kieslowski died in 1996. Tom Tykwer, who did Run Lola Run, has directed the first (and probably only) part of the series, and it's out right now. In case you're not yet convinced, here are a few other names for you. Cate Blanchett. Giovanni Ribisi. What else do I have to say.

In case you forgot, don't believe everything you read in the papers. [via medianews.org]

Bobby Seale and other founders of the Black Panthers are moving to get the openly racist New Black Panther Party shut down. [login required]

In Argentina, there is a game show where unemployed contestants compete for the big grand prize: a job. Runners-up win health insurance benefits. US networks are looking at making their own version, which says more to me about the sorry state of our economy than anything else.

One unexpected development after 9/11: fatter women on TV. The premise of this article is that some new show stars a "plus-size" woman for the first time ever, but...HELLO? Remember Roseanne? She's not even mentioned in the article.

It is well-known that I have recently back-burnered my quest against pretentiousness so that I can tilt at a new windmill*: Sense Of Entitlement. Smokers, double-parkers, cell phone users: you know who you are. Well, it just so happens that Salon has a new piece discussing how sense of entitlement seems to be an ingrained part of being a native New York toddler. Maybe so. Not very well written (lacks focus), but a good second step in raising consciousness of S.O.E. (The first step being that well-documented incident on 71st and B'way, involving me and a cell-phoning double-parker.)

*(I can make knowing references to Don Quixote, which I have never read, because -- pay attention! -- I am fighting entitlement now, not pretentiousness.)

More fun ways to say all your favorite dirty words: there is now an Oxford Dictionary of Rhyming Slang. Tons of new celebrities' names have been incorporated into a multitude of bodily functions. [via Becky]

Even if you're not watching The Real World this season, which by the way, is some of the finest and most satisfying television programming I have ever seen, you can still read cast members' commentary on the plot points. Like Steven, who this week writes: "Early on, I established myself as an easy mark for any pretty girl wanting to hook up. That is the only reason Arissa chose me. I am like a public toilet, I am not anyone痴 first choice, but I will do in a pinch." [via Whiskas]

He then goes on to differentiate the terms "hooking up" and "having sex", a distinction that I have also noticed is sometimes ignored. Come on people, it's not the same thing.

Leave it to the NY Times to write a glowing article about The Strokes now, like when their collection of 12 songs is already getting worn out on the jukeboxes in the east village...and midtown... but they do make the point that they are the first small disaffected downtown NY band with bad hair to also be a Big Rock Band in their own time. [login required] Hope the second album is good.

Snoop got cut from the Muppet Christmas movie. The Jim Henson people swear this has nothing at all to do with the other movie Snoop will star in this winter, the semi-autobiographical Diary of a Pimp. Carson Daly's cameo is apparently still in. There is no justice.

Roberto Benigni gives what will probably be the hammiest performance of all time in Pinocchio; Italy freaks out.

How do you say Ee-rack?

Here comes the Stephen Glass movie. Sorry, Stephen.

So today I hear [via T-Rock] that women seem to actually be unwittingly attracted to the smell of men who smell like their dads, even though you heard it here on the 'bot first that people DON'T like people who smell like their dads. What to believe? Well if you've seen Metamorphoses, you might suspect the worst.

Ok, here's your Red Dragon reviews: NYT, Ebert, Salon.

Mayor Bloomberg is going after noisy people/cars/dogs/stereos with the same kind of dynamic zeal that Giuliani went after such public menaces as squeegee men and jaywalkers. [login required] However, his efforts might eventually allow me to sleep with the window open.

Is Jake Gyllenhaal the new Tobey Maguire? Well, he's getting all the good independent roles, he's got the doughy emotive face and the big blue eyes, and he's already denying that he's dating Natalie Portman. You tell me.

World's funniest joke discovered again. Other contenders are discussed in this news article, and on the official site (which will probably be overwhelmed for the next day or so).

Perception of beauty is losing its local flavor in Nigeria. No more Coke bottle curviness, apparently. (NYT free reg req'd)

Most things should be settled with duels, including the upcoming war. Think of the implications for electoral politics in this country: maybe all states would get an ex-wrestler/soldier as a governor.

The future of America, as told by Robert Bork... and columnist Dan Savage. [via Trashrock, thank heavens for his glorious return]

Tommy, can you hear me? The trend of putting on stage musicals using the music of aged pop stars has gotten a little out of hand: first came ABBA, then Queen, the Billy Joel musical is about to open on Broadway, Madness of all bands has a show opening in London, and there is talk of Rod Stewart and Fleetwood Mac songs being transformed into shows.

Uh oh, Tasti D-Lite, every stylish NY'ers favorite frozen treat, has a fraudulent amount of fat in it.

We automatically have to post any story that contains the words "Siegfried and Roy". To wit:

"On her birthday, the filmmaker [Leni Riefenstahl] hosted an elaborate party at which some of Germany's most famous celebrities attended, including the flashy magicians Siegfried and Roy. Attendees were reminded that Jodie Foster was working on a project about Riefenstahl's life."

Well, even if you're not interested in the connection between Nazi filmmakers and Siegfried and Roy, the article is a nice summary of Leni's career.

You know who blew up the World Trade Center? The Israelis. You know who figured that out? Amiri Baraka, the artist formerly known as LeRoi Jones. Nowadays, he's the poet laureate of New Jersey. But maybe not for long.

The libertarians over at Reason magazine may be kooky, but they have a good point about the creepiness of the logo of our government's new department (with a very sinister name), the Information Awareness Office. [via Trashrock]

The Iranian filmmaker who wins awards for pretty much everything he does Abbas Kiarostami couldn't get a visa in time to make the New York Film Festival, which is happening right now. There's a mandatory 3-month background check on many travelers from Muslim countries. [login required] In solidarity, a Finnish filmmaker boycotted the festival, and said, if the US doesn't want "an Iranian, they will hardly have any use for a Finn, either. We do not even have the oil."

I used to think Val Kilmer was pretty talented, but lately he has just been making me want to puke.