Amy's Robot

Latest development in NYC's public schools: Remember the A/V Club? Get ready for the Mouse Squad -- a roving bunch of computer savvy kids who fix the school's computers.

Britney has severed all ties to NYLA, her restaurant in the city. Apparently, they're losing a lot of money, and nobody likes it anyway.

Sorry this didn't get blogged earlier, but those Lithuanians have really been cutting it up lately. A top TV station devised the last word in programming brilliance: a beauty pageant in a women's prison. Miss Captivity is a 21 year-old mother serving 5 years. [via Trashrock]

The incredibly true adventures of a career NY subway track worker, and the rats, drug addicts, and wild dogs he shares his workspace with.

Totally genius opinion piece about those accursed recorded voices in NY taxis. The writer goes on to bitch about those people who bring strollers onto the subway (and proposes fining them) and then equates angry NJ drivers with Manuel Noriega. I just found my new personal hero.

NYT reviews The Osbournes. I just don't have the stomach for it anymore.

Let's hear it for online near-monopolies! Amazon now controls CDNow. (Let's not forget they also control Virgin and Borders' online operations.) [NYT]

It's articles like this that are going to mess up Target for the rest of us. Apparently (and the article doesn't really say this), as Target has gotten more popular, fewer people like it. Know what I mean? [NYT]

Germans are making horrible and unfunny TV movies about Nazis.

We all know that the rest of the US loves New York a little less than they did last fall. Now it's been quantified.

Want to take a guess at who replaced Ed Norton and Catherine Keener in the current production of Burn This that's off-Broadway? PETER SARSGAARD and ELISABETH SHUE. I mis-read that at first, and thought it was Stellan Skarsgard, which would have been even more amazing, but still. An impressive number of actors that we here at Amy's Robot have enormous crushes on have been involved in this play. Though it will probably be easier to get tickets now, I am afraid to go see this show because my pants will probably ignite.

NYT has a piece on free wireless networking in the city -- an effort I will soon be contributing to. This map gives you a quick idea of where the wireless access points are. (Notice the dearth in East Harlem.) This whole thing about free wireless internet bridging the digital divide isn't very convincing to me, since the startup costs involved are so high compared to just buying a cheap desktop and paying $10 a month for, say, Juno.

Here's some stats on Operation Silent Night, NYC's crackdown on loud people of all kinds. [NYT]

Maureen Dowd has an occasionally not believable, but sometimes original piece on Eminem in the NYT. It's about how baby boomers listen to him in their minivans after they drop the kids off. Note that this is the second time in as many weeks that Eminem has been featured in a high profile piece in the Times.

A new Lithuanian dance track celebrating the country's invitation to join NATO features samples from Bush's anti-terrorism speeches, including "the only motivation is evil" and "we cannot have terrorism dictate our course of action."

Madonna meets the Queen, curtsies, apparently eats bug, judging from her expression.

21 Jump Street is coming to the big screen.

NYT has An article on what New York has thrown out in the last century. Did you know there was recycling here in the 1890s?

Ok, people. Don't say I never did anything for you: HERE IS THE ELLEN FEISS INTERVIEW. (Good luck getting through to the page today.) For those of you who've been under a rock, Ellen Feiss is the semi-stoner girl in the Apple switch commercial, who we are all obsessed with here at Amy's Robot and in America. I don't want to spoil it, but there is some great stuff in the interview. [via slashdot.]

Wow, Peter Gabriel now looks like Dennis Hopper! The photo accompanying this article clearly shows that he ripped off Dennis Hopper's face and is now wearing it around. Creepy.

Pulse felt in body at morgue in DC. Yikes. The woman died for good a couple of hours later, maybe as a result of being stuck in a plastic bag and the morgue fridge for a few hours.

Just wanted to make sure everyone saw this not-very-flattering picture of our Pr*sident with Kofi Annan. Yeah, I guess it's not fair to put it on the front page of the Chicago Tribune (which it was), but still. It's funny.

Salon was delisted from NASDAQ today. Now it looks like you could buy half the company for the price of a yearly subscription.

Big breakthrough in STD medicine: a vaccine that prevents cervical cancer, which is usually caused by contracting human papillomaviruses. [via Agent 0019]

Here's a weird story in the NYT that is partly about Jonathan Franzen's Thanksgiving plans and partly about some psychological improvement scheme called "Narrative Therapy".

The National Book Awards were awarded yesterday. A first novel won. [NYT]

Seems like that kid who tried to hijack the El Al plane last week (with a pocket knife) is more eccentric than radical: whenever he gets nervous, he faints: "When I heard what happened in the airplane, I laughed for 10 minutes," said Alon Gayer, the dean of students here who said he knew Mr. Foqara well. "All the time he wanted attention, but I didn't think he would do this."

Guess who's back...back again...Al Gore's back...tell a friend. He created a monster. You heard it here first: Al Gore will decide to run, then (embarassingly) lose the nomination to John Edwards. What a mess it'll be when Lieberman throws his hat in, too.

Jesus Appears In Processed Food Volume XXVIII: Indian Miracle Chapati wows Christians and Hindus alike. [via T-Rock]

Salon's Allen Barra, who usually writes about sports, has a piece about Pauline Kael. It's worth reading all the way to the end...he includes an interview between Pauline and his 10-year-old daughter.

So what's Rudy Gi*liani up to now that he's America's Mayor and has started his own consulting practice? Well, first he planned to Rudify Mexico City's crime, and today he announced he's up to something even more important: securing our nation's Off Track Betting systems, which were hit by a recent Office Space-like cyber-heist during the Breeder's Cup.

1010 WINS had hilarious audio clips of Giuliani saying things like the horse racing industry "must have the highest standard of honesty", etc. Good thing NYC's former police and fire commissioners are on the job, too. We wouldn't want any, you know, dishonesty blighting the horse racing industry.

NYT has a profile of the guy who makes and installs hidden cameras for the networks' hidden camera reports and shows like HBO's Taxicab Confessions. He wouldn't allow himself to be photographed or described.

Washington Post reviews Die Another Day: Didn't like it, they said. Tired, they said. Fake-looking, they said. Major spoilers in the review, though -- almost irresponsible -- so read with caution.

This is going to be blogged everywhere, I guess: Michael Jackson dangles his masked son over the fourth-floor balcony of his hotel room. Mike, you are one crazy son of a gun.

A little old, but interesting: kids don't respond to fire alarms. Found this over at Poynter, in a section called Al's Morning Meeting, which covers a lot of interesting stories from news director's POV.

Elsewhere in the same column is a link to a story about a man too fat to fit in the air ambulance.

Regarding Amy's earlier post: ABC, look no further!

LA Times has an article on a controversial 9/11-related book by an Atlantic Monthly writer. Discusses some previously unreported details.

Finally, a reality show that was made for ADM and I.

Tiki bars are making a comeback in NYC. [nyt] Update: Well, Amy reminds me that tiki bars have already made their comeback, like about a year ago, and the NYT is just now getting around to reporting it. I can live with that.

PETA is giving away used fur coats to homeless people. Very funny commentary in the last paragraph from a spokesman from the Fur Information Council, about how anti-fur sentiment is no longer appropriate in our post-9/11 world. As Trashrock says, Oh right, not wearing fur is letting the terrorists win.

Slate explains how Bin Laden's voice was authenticated (probably).

What would Jesus drive? Evangelical Christians join the conservation movement, and tell Ford and GM to make more fuel efficient cars. [NYT]

British people are about to get as fat as Americans. [via Becky]

The great Greil Marcus thinks "Lose Yourself", as it plays under the closing credits, is the best part of 8 Mile, the best thing Eminem has ever recorded, and that it sets a new standard for pop music. Whoa.

It's all so meta, according to the NYT.

Coming soon (hopefully): the Susan Sarandon Rest Stop on the NJ Turnpike.

Saddam Hussein's semi-official portraitist has fallen on hard times. The culprit? Photography, not disaffection, apparently.

I always thought Jeffrey Jones, the actor from Ferris Bueller, looked like trouble. Turns out he is: he was arrested for child molestation.

Eminem's occasional pre-fame home is for sale.

Medianews has a new look.

Stan Lee still hasn't seen a penny for the use of his characters in Spider-Man. Looks like he got taken for a ride by Marvel, who offered him 10% of the movie's profits, not ticket sales. [via King Pigeon]

This non-rhyming translation of the lyrics to Eminem's "Without Me" is meant to be goofy, but it really does show just how advanced his delusions of grandeur have gotten lately. [via Rachel] Just one more album, and the Will Smith-ification will be complete.

In case you were at all uncertain about how grotesque Michael Jackson's face really is. [via King Pigeon]

Pop music writer Bill Wyman (not that Bill Wyman) got a letter from that Bill Wyman's lawyers telling him to stop using that name. But, there's a twist.

Did Television Without Pity hire a PR agent or what? They're getting more press than Eminem all of a sudden. [via Whiskas]

Here's a different kind of "heaven or hell" story from Salon/Nerve personals: A New York Daily News reporter got suspended for posting a racy ad. Details of the ad are hilarious.

The OED folks are unstoppable these days: they just came out with the new Shorter Oxford English Dictionary. New entries include mind-meld, wannabe, Botox, and the co-author's personal favorite "go commando", a phrase I myself learned just 2 days ago.

Let me tell you something about 24: I'm through. That's it...no longer will I be manipulated by this manipulator. I'm going to say it: the show simply is not good enough to keep watching. It's clumsy, unsubtle, inconsistent, un-believable, and sometimes silly. And manipulative. Therefore, I'm cutting me off. I'm also cutting you off. Stop watching. Watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent with Vincent D'Onofrio on Sundays at 9 on NBC instead. It's better. Sorry, Kiefer: you're good, but you're not Atlas.

Once Solaris comes out, it's going to be a non-stop barrage of exciting Oscar-contender movies that you really want to see from now until the end of the year. But that doesn't stop all the inessential crap from getting released too. Fametracker reports.

"I'd just given up hope of ever meeting anyone when..." "We were drunk and unable to make conversation, so we started making out..." As promised, Salon brings you true stories of online dating heaven and hell. I never want to go on another first date ever ever again.

Joshua Jackson is bleaching his hair to hideous unnatural colors and getting arrested for drunken assault at hockey games: will someone PLEASE cancel Dawson's Creek? [via ADM, who has Veteran's Day off]

So far, the best thing about this season of 24 has been the fun names Television Without Pity has come up with for the new, unimpressive characters. Nina 2.0! JonBenet! Heh!

Crime is up everywhere, including the housing projects where I work (and where ADM used to.)

The NY Times' Elvis Mitchell freaks out all over Eminem, whom he apparently loves almost as much as I do, in a ridiculously laudatory and ass-kissy review of 8 Mile. Quote: "Eminem has lost weight for his first starring role, and the cleft in his chin has deepened, becoming another shadowy place where he seems to be hiding things. He holds back, waiting, a little nervous. It's only when he gets angry that he comes to life and his voice takes on a shank's edge, dull and rusty." As Trashrock said, can a movie review chew its own scenery?

NYT discusses so-called "sport wagons" which are really more like a cross between a compact car and a station wagon. True sport wagons, like the 340-hp Audi S6 and new 8-cylinder Passats are not mentioned. I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd want to drive a Subaru Impreza or a cheap-ass Pontiac Vibe to, say, Alaska.

Sharon Osbourne is getting her own talk show. How annoying.

Solaris is going to feature not one, but two shots of George Clooney's naked ass.

Next up for video games: super-realistic computer animated topless chicks. And strippers. What do you think ADM, better than Syphon Filter?

Lengthy article in the NYT re Bellevue.

Auteur mob movie maker gets served with a 44-count indictment. Charges include breaking an employee's thumb as payback. [NYT]

Molly Ringwald is getting divorced, fast. She cites non-specific cruel and inhumane treatment from her French husband, to whom she had been engaged 8 years.

Here's a little piece about Conan Doyle in Salon's "Today in Literary History".

A Winona boy laments his fallen idol, on Salon: "Her sin reminds me the heartbreak I felt when Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum dumped his girlfriend for her."

NYT on the state of the city's pizza.

NYT on Femme Fatale, the new Brian De Palma movie. Relatedly, Salon has an interview with him.

French prostitutes protesting in cool masks.

Pete Townshend: 1
Kurt Cobain: 0

Letterman's show is going to be simulcast on the radio.

Interesting, detailed mini-profile of the NYT photog who was accused of staging the photo in Lackawanna, NY. [via medianews]

A gutsy Rockefeller arrested in protest of the Rockefeller laws.

More evidence that teenagers need sleep. Me, too.

Sharon Osbourne wants out of the show. Maybe. Capricious, capricious. [NYT]

Get Your War On, courtesy of King Pigeon.

US to invade sarcasm-free island nation of Kiribati. [via Dr. Trashrock]

Salon is calling for submissions about readers' online dating experiences, entitled either "Match Made In Heaven" or "Match Made In Hell".

Ellen Feiss: the look-alike contest. [via Becky]

Steve Bing, the rich guy who got Elizabeth Hurley knocked up and then ditched her, is writing and directing his first movie: Why Men Shouldn't Marry. And just guess who's going to be in it. Just guess.

NYT on ghostbusters: Human spirits can lift only about 3 to 10 pounds.

Here's the latest on the Jam Master Jay case.

How to shoot a nude scene, according to Paul Verhoeven, and how to maintain script continuity, according to a script girl.

Frank Rich on Eminem in the NYT Magazine.

Salon on Dave Eggers' new novel.

The difficulties of getting a drivers license in England. [via Babak]