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October 28, 2003


Joe Millionaire: Linda vs. Olinda


Ok, so things are getting better. Tonight's show wasn't particularly funny, but it was at least interesting, as we got to know the girls a little better and see them relate to Cowboy Dave a bit more.

First group date: Modeling clay

So a cowboy, a Czech, a Swede, and an Italian go on a group date.

David: So we were just conversatin' about this and that.

Later, at dinner...

David: Anyone mind if I say grace? [...] Lord, bless this meal which we are about to receive....

Olinda: [sarcastically] Amen, praise the Lord!

Olinda, things are not looking good, my Swedish sweetie, and I don't think that triple kiss (or the dirty "I need super balls..." comment as she's molding a very phallic vase) is going to help.

By contrast, the bashful Italian liked the way "he start with the praying," so she's nudging ahead.

Second group date: Bicycling and picnic

Terese: "I like the wayns [veins] in his arms...The wayns are turning me on." She gets so turned on in fact, she starts swearing, which makes Dave blush. Meanwhile, Dave and his wayns stumble around looking like he's in a play with no director. The girls say he seems nervous...but he seems more nervous about being on TV than about meeting a bunch of girls.

David's voice overs, though, are getting tedious. He always says, "What's going to happen when the girls find out it's all a lie?" He's like a guilty robot -- a guilty Catholic robot, it turns out.

Third group date: Leaning Tower of Pisa

They head off to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Dave says "there's nothing like this in Texas." According to Dave, on a first date, usually "you got to Wattaburger. There's no Wattaburger here!" Alessia, extroverted Italian girl, greeting David: "Hello my husband..." But Dave has his eyes on Linda, the Czech model, and the two have a "moment" on top of the tower. But Karolina may be on to him: She's the first to notice he looks suspiciously like Woody Harrelson. This insight could cost her.

The Judgment

After the dates, all the girls sit around in the pool ("Which bikini should I wear today?") until Poor Man's Jules Asner comes out and tells them to get ready for ElimiDate. In the meantime, she says, "Enjoy this beautiful Tuscany afternoon," a remark which leads to Kat (who I think is second prettiest, behind Linda) imitating her host in a rather unseemly fashion, mimicking PMJA's American accent. This leads to almost all the other girls denouncing Kat behind her back and predicting she'll get eliminated.

But she's saved, for now: When it comes time to decide who to eject (a process Dave likens to "kicking buddies out of the truck"), Dave offs Karolina because, he says, she's friends with Linda, and he didn't want Linda putting her feelings in Czech (ha!) to spare her friendship, and he expels Terese because she was the first to ask about his imaginary money. Sorry, no more wayns for you! Olinda seems to have pulled the wool over his eyes, and he likes Alessia, the loud, funny Italian, alot. Even though she's not as good looking, she has 10 times the personality of every other girl. Still, the smart money would be on Linda, but you never know with these kinds of shows.

Scenes from next week: "So how many of you girls know how to clean out a horse stall?" This could be tense.

categories: TV
posted by adm at 8:20 PM | #


So are David and Linda still together?

Posted by: Eve at April 10, 2005 3:40 PM

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