Watched: All right, people: We've got a lot to cover.
The Andy Richter Show: Ha Ha. Ha Ha. Heh. This show is ok. Is it worth setting aside time for every Tuesday? Probably not, but it is about my old favorite sidekick, and besides, what else am I going to do between parking and 24? Last night's episode features more than one talking animal and a lot of homo-erotic stuff about fraternities. Plus, Andy gets kicked in the balls and chugs a whole gallon of milk. NOW THAT'S COMEDY!
24: After last night's episode, I have come to the following conclusion: the show is bearable if you close your eyes and cover your ears during every single scene that David Palmer is in that Kiefer isn't. I was groaning and grimacing and yelling "Oh my GOD!" a lot. From now on, I am going to tape the show and fast-forward through every such scene. I mean it.
In last night's ep, there is a scene in which the Palmer's are having one of their big family hate-ins, where they say all the same things they have been saying to each other since November and slowly but surely, one of the brood starts having some kind of panic attack or seizure. To paraphrase my friend Amy, what an outstanding meta-commentary on the show...whenever the Palmers start discussing their feelings, ALL OF AMERICA starts having a PANIC ATTACK because it is UNBEARABLE. The seized Palmer and America felt better immediately after they cut away from the family and got back to important stuff, like who is mini-Val-Kilmer going to shoot first: Kiefer's daughter or Kiefer's daughter's teenage boyfriend/kidnapper.
Also, the writers replaced the amnesia trope with the helpless-person-saved-at-last-possible-instant-by-off-camera-good-guy-with-gun trope. Crap, I really thought a certain someone was going to get it. But that would require some actual boldness on the part of the writers, and it is too late in the season to expect anything like that, until Frank shows up.
Conan: Do you know it's the funniest show on tv? Well, it is. Bob Costas was on. Conan brought out these fake groupies called "Costas heads" who love Costas and follow him around the country, and they did funny impressions of Costas. Then he brings out the "Costas heads heads" who are obsessed with the Costas heads, and follow them around the country. Costas does a brief speech about how is heart is filled with love, as at the birth of a grandchild. Punch line: the Costas heads heads couldn't care less about Costas himself.
Carson Daly: That bastard. So slick and coy and slimy and so very LA. But, his guest was Conan, so I had to watch. Conan was funny, and Carson pretty much just sat back and kept his mouth shut, as he should. They showed a parallel clip of Letterman on Conan from like 8 years ago. V. funny. Conan looked like he was about 19.
So I guess now Tuesdays are the king of TV. I mean, come on, OZZIE is on Tuesdays, too, which I didn't even mention. Did you hear Greta Van Susteren is taking Ozzie to that big correspondendent's dinner? Like as a date? If she wants everyone to know she's gay, why doesn't she just take her sister??
Um, is it ok to say that?