June 24, 2004
Thank you, Mayor Bloomberg
Dear Mayor Bloomberg,
As a vulnerable woman living here in the Big City, Im delighted to see that you and Police Commissioner Kelly are doing your best to protect me from the threat of terrorist attacks on the subway. Silly me, when I first saw the If you see something, say something posters, I thought they referred to general crime but in fact, they meant that I should report suspicious packages!
Not only that, I know now that the people taking pictures on subway platforms are not families of Midwestern tourists at all, but terrorists planning to kill us during the Republican National Convention.
Thanks to you and thanks also to the MTA for involving New Yorkers in these efforts. I'm so excited to be part of the "Get Suspicious" campaign!!! The guy on the F train who sings "Stand by Me" a capella is so bad, it can only be a cover for his illegal activities!
Now Ill be so busy looking out for Al Qaeda operatives, I wont have time to worry about being crushed by a train, or shot in the middle of the day, or pickpocketed, or beaten and robbed, or pushed onto the subway tracks.
Thank you for making our subways safe!