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September 3, 2004
In this Time of Change
We at Amy's Robot realize that some of you may have been confused by President Bush's speech last night. Storming mountain strongholds what? Pro-growth system who?
To help you better understand the President's policies for the next four years, we offer this helpful translation of his agenda:
I am running with a compassionate conservative philosophy: that government should help people improve their lives, not try to run their lives.
Unless they are gay, on welfare, or need an abortion.
The story of America is the story of expanding liberty: an ever-widening circle, constantly growing to reach further and include more. Our Nation's founding commitment is still our deepest commitment: In our world, and here at home, we will extend the frontiers of freedom.
I will continue to wage unfounded wars against any countries that have resources we want or need.
I believe we have a moral responsibility to honor America's seniors so I brought Republicans and Democrats together to strengthen Medicare. Now seniors are getting immediate help buying medicine. Soon every senior will be able to get prescription drug coverage, and nothing will hold us back.
By simply killing off the elderly poor who cant pay outrageous amounts of money for urgently needed medications, we wont have to pay out their Social Security benefits.
I believe in the energy and innovative spirit of America's workers, entrepreneurs, farmers, and ranchers so we unleashed that energy with the largest tax relief in a generation. Because we acted, our economy is growing again, and creating jobs, and nothing will hold us back.
I assume that none of you read newspapers, watch the news, or know anyone who is unemployed.
I believe the most solemn duty of the American president is to protect the American people. If America shows uncertainty and weakness in this decade, the world will drift toward tragedy. This will not happen on my watch.
Vote for me, or terrorists will kill your family.
I believe this Nation wants steady, consistent, principled leadership and that is why, with your help, we will win this election.
Again, I assume none of you read the newspaper.
The workers of our parents' generation typically had one job, one skill, one career often with one company that provided health care and a pension.
Health care AND a pension? No wonder their companies all failed.
And most of those workers were men. Today, workers change jobs, even careers, many times during their lives
Because they're getting laid off
and in one of the most dramatic shifts our society has seen, two-thirds of all Moms also work outside the home.
Working mothers! When will this moral decline end!
This changed world can be a time of great opportunity for all Americans to earn a better living, support your family, and have a rewarding career. And government must take your side. Many of our most fundamental systems the tax code, health coverage, pension plans, worker training were created for the world of yesterday, not tomorrow.
I'll eliminate all the worker protections that most industrialized countries enjoy.
We will transform these systems so that all citizens are equipped, prepared and thus truly free to make your own choices and pursue your own dreams.
Unless you make under $200,000.
To create more jobs in America, America must be the best place in the world to do business. To create jobs, my plan will encourage investment and expansion by restraining federal spending, reducing regulation, and making tax relief permanent.
We will lift all governmental controls from businesses, and allow them to exploit natural resources and workers as much as they wish.
To create jobs, we will make our country less dependent on foreign sources of energy.
We'll drill in Alaska
Another drag on our economy is the current tax code, which is a complicated mess filled with special interest loopholes, saddling our people with more than six billion hours of paperwork and headache every year.
Oh, man - preparing taxes is the worst! Wouldn't you be willing to give up social programs and paved roads to be rid of that nuisance?
The American people deserve and our economic future demands a simpler, fairer, pro-growth system.
Corporations and wealthy individuals can continue to contribute virtually nothing to our society, while the middle-class will shoulder most of the tax burden.
More than half of the uninsured are small business employees and their families. In a new term, we must allow small firms to join together to purchase insurance at the discounts available to big companies. We will offer a tax credit to encourage small businesses and their employees to set up health savings accounts, and provide direct help for low-income Americans to purchase them.
Companies shouldnt have to provide health insurance thats what salaries are for! You want to go to the doctor, pay for it yourself.
And in all we do to improve health care in America, we will make sure that health decisions are made by doctors and patients, not by bureaucrats in Washington, DC.
Unless you need an abortion.
In this time of change, government must take the side of working families. In a new term, we will change outdated labor laws to offer comp-time and flex-time. Our laws should never stand in the way of a more family-friendly workplace.
I will eliminate overtime pay.
We must strengthen Social Security by allowing younger workers to save some of their taxes in a personal account a nest egg you can call your own, and government can never take away.
Want to retire? Save your own damn money.
Senator Kerry opposed Medicare reform and health savings accounts. After supporting my education reforms, he now wants to dilute them. He opposes legal and medical liability reform. He opposed reducing the marriage penalty, opposed doubling the child credit, and opposed lowering income taxes for all who pay them.
Senator Kerry is fiscally responsible.
I support welfare reform that strengthens family and requires work.
I will punish struggling single mothers.
Because a caring society will value its weakest members, we must make a place for the unborn child.
I will overturn Roe v. Wade
Because the union of a man and woman deserves an honored place in our society, I support the protection of marriage against activist judges.
The votes of 1 million Log Cabin Republicans mean nothing to me against the votes of 4 million conservative Christians.
Four years ago, Afghanistan was the home base of al-Qaida, Pakistan was a transit point for terrorist groups, Saudi Arabia was fertile ground for terrorist fundraising, Libya was secretly pursuing nuclear weapons, Iraq was a gathering threat, and al-Qaida was largely unchallenged as it planned attacks.
And today, Afghanistan is on the brink of civil war, much of the Middle East is a transit point for terrorist groups, North Korea has nuclear weapons and South Korea is secretly pursuing them, and al-Qaida is largely unchallenged as it plans attacks.
God bless you, and may God continue to bless America.
God Bless rich, white, straight, selfish America!
