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March 8, 2005


John Bolton: secret albino? +

John Bolton

Our nation's new ambassador to the UN, John Bolton, has some strange coloration inconsistencies in his hair, eyebrows, and voluminous mustache, prompting several questions:

  • Does Bolton dye his hair, or does he bleach his face?
  • Does the carpet match the curtains?
  • Or is the mustache a communication transmitter device, activated when he presses on his philtrum, which beams messages from his controller into his earpiece?

Here's his Chickenhawk Playing Card, featuring some of his qualifications for working at the UN, including this quote: "There's no such thing as the United Nations... If the UN Secretariat building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference."

This guy is going to get his glasses smashed his first day in the UN locker room.

categories: Politics
posted by amy at 11:24 AM | #

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