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January 30, 2006


Celebrity Matchmaker

What with Valentine's Day just around the corner, and our successful peek into Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe's future love lives, we're really getting in to celebrity matchmaking these days.

And as semi-professional celebrity matchmakers, we can't help but notice....well, you know how sometimes, you've got these two friends - and they're both single - and you've never thought of them together, but they're always both like, "Oh, come on - you must know someone you could set me up with!" and "I just want to settle down" and "I'm really open to anything at this point!" - and finally, you just give in?

Now, what if both those friends were saying those things not to you but to America?

America, isn't it only right that you'd fix them up?

For your consideration.....
Single Lisa Loeb
Single Flavor Flav

Now, I know it seems little random, but listen to me. Both Flavor Flav and Lisa Loeb are currently looking for love on national television - Flavor Flav on Vh1's Flavor of Love, and Lisa on E!'s #1 Single. Both value cooking skills: Flavor Flav put his potential mates through a cooking contest judged by his mom - while Lisa made kugel with her mom! Both are endearingly bananas - Lisa lives "with a quirky collection of gnomes and Hello Kitty dolls" and Flavor Flav wears a Viking helmet! Lisa's looking for someone Jewish, and Flavor Flav is...probably not going to be inviting Professor Griff over very much when they start dating. But still.

And most of all - they are lonely. After suffering through a long-term relationship with the hot but potentially wacko Dweezil Zappa - and a shorter-term one with the formerly hot and very definitely wacko Brigitte Nielsen - are you going to deny these good people their one shot at happiness?

I didn't think so.

Lisa Loeb in love
Flavor Flav in love

categories: Celebrities
posted by Emily at 7:15 PM | #

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