Amy's Robot

So the Amy's Robot Link

So the Amy's Robot Link Factory™ is paying off already: from it we picked up the Box Office Oracle, which allows you to pick a creative team, stars, and genre for an imaginary movie, then calculate how much that movie will earn at the box office and whether it will win any Oscars. This will be very helpful for the Amy's Robot Studios business plan we've been working on since Spielberg and Katzenberg expressed interest a few months ago.

Ok, so here's what we came up with and the predicted results:

Amy's Robot II: The Amying (R)
(Horror)
Starring Vin Diesel as ADM and Helena Bonham Carter as Amy
Also Featuring Ian Holm as Babak, Emily Watson as Emily, and Vince Gallo as himself.

Directed by Sam Raimi
Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan

Projected Budget Range: $70-79 Million
Planned Release Date: July

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$15.61 million (Opening Weekend)
$82.97 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 3%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
(We love him, he loves us. It figures.)
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

That one didn't do as well as I'd hoped. Probably word got out that M Night's script had a clumsy excuse for a twist ending. Should have gone with a PG-13 script. That would have brought us $7 million more, but then you'd never get to see our tits.

-adm

Another option:

Eurotrash (R)
(Spy)
Starring Ewan McGregor as ADM and Natalie Portman as AMY
Also Featuring Rory Culkin, Clive Owen, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Rachel Weisz as our funky, vulgar, and often naked murderous gang friends.

Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Screenplay by Stephen Gaghan and Frances Walsh

Projected Budget Range: $30-39 Million
Planned Release Date: October

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$9.57 million (Opening Weekend)
$83.44 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 7%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 2%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com
-amy

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posted by adm at 4:45 PM | #