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October 30, 2003
Laura's The Bachelor recap, in verse
Here lies Meredith, all f-ed up,
Longing to hear Bob's "Wassup?!"
Once so long-limbed, sunny, brave --
Then she took Bob to Grandma's grave.
Oh shit! Dat's heavy! Outta here, yo!
Just three roses - Meredy must go.
Mary came close by mentioning kids,
mentioning kids, and mentioning kids;
Estella JUST saved herself from the skids.
Is it pre-ordained? Is it simple as pie?
Is Kelly Jo the crisp apple of Bob's eye?
It certainly seems so to judge from the lingo:
Kelly Jo: "Bobby G!"
"Baby girl," Bobby moaned.
With Kelly Jo's mom Bob was so tight,
Out back, holding hands, we thought he just might...
But he stuck to the young thangs
For face-sucking / slurping,
Then pledged "good intent"
To each Bob-loving parent.
Will Mary's sweet father erupt when she's dissed?
Will Bob now screw every girl that he's kissed?
Hearken ye well; my husband has spoken
Regarding the upcoming, possible pokings.
It's short, to the point, and true to a fault;
Do NOT miss next week: "He's gonna do them all."
-Laura
For more of Laura's poetry, you can see her read at Halcyon in Brooklyn this Sunday at 1 pm, after you and Puffy finish running the marathon. It's part of a reading series sponsored by 3rd Bed, a literary magazine.
