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November 4, 2003
Pregnancy, Drinking, and Amy's Robot's Intellectual Capacity
The New York Times tells us today about recent studies that suggest that any consumption of alcohol during pregnancy affects fetuses more significantly than we used to think. Certainly more than my mother used to think, who drank (moderately) while pregnant without thinking anything of it. Everyone did, she says. I hardly blame her: I often find myself wanting a cocktail at the end of the day, and I don't even have to contend with being gigantically pregnant during a long, hot summer, and with a hyper-curious three-year-old running around my tiny apartment. But now it looks like I might have 5 additional IQ points and better motor control (which anyone who has tried to play volleyball with me can tell you, is a spectacle of pathetic flailing) if she didn't drink at all. The first boy who ever displayed a crush on me suffered from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and engaged me in a surprisingly intelligent discussion of the meaning of Michael Jackson's 'Black or White'. Maybe he recognized my damaged synapses, or other symptoms like "attention problems, hyperactivity, learning problems -- particularly in arithmetic -- language problems, memory problems, fine and gross motor problems, poor impulse control, poor judgment, intellectual deficits and difficulty integrating past experience to plan and organize future behavior." The really surprising thing is that snorting cocaine and smoking during pregnancy is probably less harmful to the fetus. Just be sure to get your intoxicants straight while gestating, girls.
