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December 28, 2003

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Why movie stars are so nuts

We here at Amy's Robot want to make sure that our readers don't carry any self-centered feelings of sadness or disappointment if your Christmas holiday was less than magical, so we bring you tales of celebrities and their horrible memories of bad, lonely, and intoxicated Christmases. Because they really have it tough. The cat ate the turkey (Jennifer Jason Leigh)! The dog ate the chocolates (Laura Linney)! I got a lump of coal in my stocking (Jack Nicholson, who might also have complained, "I am a decrepit old coot who just revealed how elderly he really is!")

I do feel some genuine sympathy for the stars who so freely reveal their psychoses for all to see in a cute little holiday Teen Hollywood piece, like Peter Fonda who once put presents for his dead mother under the tree, or Robert Downey, Jr. who showed up at a family party dressed as Santa Claus and drunk. He terrified all the kids, and reaffirmed the public's image of him as a self-destructive addict who "likes the taste of gun metal."

Don't worry, Robert. I've got a whole carload of gallon jugs of whiskey and cartons of cigarettes that I'm bringing back to the city from the Land of Low Taxes. Get ready to party.

categories: Celebrities
posted by amy at 1:03 PM | #

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