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May 11, 2004


Oh, I Wish...

Have you been longing for the day when you could party in style in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile™? My friend, that day has finally come. Thanks to the brain trust at Kraft Foods, all you have to do is tell Oscar Mayer what you plan to do with their Wienermobile™ in 50 words or less.

Sadly, Kraft seems to have anticipated most of my initial ideas, and clearly states in the contest guidelines that:

Winners cannot alter the Wienermobile™ in any way
The number of people inside the Wienermobile™ at any one time is
limited to four
There is no smoking and no food or drink INSIDE the Wienermobile™

And the final straw: the proposal must incorporate “elements of good will.”

Well, fine. Kraft Foods, if you’re so concerned with corporate “good will”, then give the Wienermobile to some kids with cancer. They can spend the day eating your artery clogging Lunchables™ (at 470 calories, 22 grams of fat per serving) while their parents apply for free passes to Curves pro-life Christian gym. Then sell them some cigarettes on their way home.

And don’t even get me started on your nasty Wienerwhistle™™.

categories: Culture
posted by Emily at 1:30 PM | #