« Who'dat?™: Surprising Celebrity Intersections | Home | Do you get it? It's Irony + »

August 16, 2004


Our Favorite Republican

There’s nothing to brighten up a gray Monday morning like an interview with everyone’s favorite megalomaniac, Vincent Gallo. Before you head out to see “The Brown Bunny”, this entertaining piece will give you some delicious tidbits including that Vince has never read a book of fiction and can’t spell. What makes the interview really remarkable is the insight offered into the psyche of co-star and live-action fellater, Chloe Sevigny:

"After making "Buffalo '66" Mr. Gallo said he had all but decided to leave filmmaking because he hated working with stars (he publicly insulted his costars, Christina Ricci and Anjelica Huston, as well as Ms. Sevigny)….Ms. Sevigny, an old friend of Mr. Gallo's who had stopped speaking to him, said that when she was in Sweden working on Lars von Trier's "Dogville," Mr. Gallo began to pursue her for the role. "I got an e-mail from him," she said, during an interview, adding: "I'm not even sure how he got my e-mail address…She said that he apologized for insulting her "in not so many words and, you know, said that I had hurt him."

Take heed, horny young men. It’s the most time-honored trick for getting a girl to go down on you – talk shit about her, and then tell her it’s her fault.

For more Vince Gallo fun, Amy and I strongly recommend a visit to his website (“The Official Website for Vincent Gallo by Vincent Gallo”). But be careful before posting anything there:

"....if I notice any polluted messages, which usually come from bitter, jealous, ugly, poorly-hung men, who are unhappy at work and wished their whole life to be like me, I will remove these unproductive nasty little posts and I would like to say to these twisted queers and half-men, I feel sorry for you. All I ever wanted to do was be me. I hope one day you feel the same about yourself and release yourself from the petty, small-minded urges of polluting this message board and distracting its wonderful members. So go ahead and say whatever you want nasty about me, but know that we will all know by your insults just how small your pecker really is and how miserable your life has always been and how long it's been since any girl under 500 pounds responded to your cheap lines at the local pub."

Why, by strange coincidence, that’s also the comments policy of Amy’s Robot!

It’s our fondest wish that Vince will follow through on his promise to attend the Republican National Convention later this month. It should only take a few minutes for the Republicans (who clearly don’t actually know who he is) to figure out that their sought-after “young hipster bohemian” spokesperson is actually the GOP’s worst nightmare.

categories: Celebrities
posted by Emily at 1:28 PM | #