Amy's Robot

You heard about the Intel-based Mac minis that came out today? How about last month's kerfuffle over Apple's Intel ad, which is derived from a Postal Service video by the same directors?

That stuff is cool, but not as cool as David Cronenberg's 1981 sci-fi classic Scanners, in which people can telepathically explode each other's heads.

Which is why I've mashed up Apple's Intel ad with video from the "clean room" scenes in Scanners:

• Apple's Intel ad, remixed with Scanners (3.9 mb Quicktime)
• Apple's Intel ad, remixed with Scanners (3.3 mb mpeg4, iPod-compatible)
• Update: Watch it side-by-side with the original Apple ad (3.5 mb Quicktime, silent) (thanks, tkg)

If you play it side-by-side with the original Apple ad, you'll note that it matches pretty much frame-for-frame.

Details

• Right-click the links and choose "Save as..." to download the videos. (For some reason, they tend to crash my PC when I try to view them directly in the browser. Sorry if this happens to you.)
• Download the latest version of Quicktime if you can't play the video.
• Besides lots of editing and a couple dissolves, I didn't alter any of the shots, except to slow some of them them down and, in one case, I reversed the camera motion.
• I made it on my Mac using free/open source software software like Handbrake and free-ish software like MPEG Streamclip and iMovie.

Earlier: Lazy Sunday video remixed with kids rapping

Six months after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and we all watched one of the biggest fuck-ups in recent history play out, it's party time again in New Orleans. Mardi Gras!

So we bring you a few interesting photos from September 2005 and from last Saturday's parade.

Remember this scary old coot with his ugly woman and his claw hammer, letting potential looters know what was waiting for them if they tried to break into his house?

Here's that same painted wall now, with parade watchers waiting for the Mardi Gras floats to come by.

Those are some dark, witty updates on the deteriorating state of the man and his house--dog gumbo, ha!

He also asks everyone to "come back for Carnival" on the center panel. Well, a lot of them did. Check out this picture of post-Katrina debris, and this weekend's picture of post-Mardi Gras Parade debris.

If those beads weren't in one of them, it might be hard to tell the difference.

Christopher X. Brodeur, eternally outspoken New York figure and sometime mayoral candidate, was convicted of harassment last week and was immediately remanded pending his sentencing. As you read this, he's in the holding cells in The Tombs downtown, and will likely get sentenced to Rikers.

But, in our opinion, it doesn't seem to be serving anyone to have CXB in jail now or later. He may seem crazy to many, and he may harass people, but it's not going to do anybody any good to have him in prison. Unfortunately, the criminal justice system is often not capable of providing justice in cases like Christopher's, but we're hoping the judge in his case will find a fair solution.

Last week, we received an email from his fiancee, and we're asking you to review the situation, decide whether you think CXB deserves to be in jail, and send a note to the judge in the case if you think other arrangements should be made.

Here's Jessica, his fiancee:

Hi

Chris is in jail. Please help if you can. More details below. If you can use letter head, even better. [...]

Thank you,
Jessica
(fiance)

Political activist and notorious gadfly/performance jokester Christopher X. Brodeur (aka Touching You, known for his involvement in The Liquid Tapedeck and Mr. Brooke Shields of Haunted Pussy) has been found guilty on 21 counts of various levels of harrassment. All of the specifics of the case are not available, but some details are:

** His charges of harrassment and aggravated harrassment (regarding annoying and sometimes seemingly aggressive calls he made to his landlord who illegally kicked him out of his home of 15 years) is a misdemeanor charge. Though Christopher has no prior record of violent crime and has obeyed every restraining order ever placed against him, he was remanded immediately, which means he was taken to jail on the spot once he received a guilty verdict. Many people in his position would be let go until the next court date to get sentenced. Even though his sentencing date was set for March 8th, he was refused bail (though there was already bail on this case) and taken immediately to jail to be subject to now a THIRD psychological evaluation. This is not a 730 remand psychiatric evaluation, this is a judge-ordered psychiatric evaluation to determine how to "best sentence Christopher". Each of the 21 counts holds a maximum sentence of 1 year, so essentially, he is looking at 21 years in jail. [[Ed. Update: Jess says from what she understands, Chris can only get a sentence of a year or two.]] He *probably* won't get that many years, but he technically could. It's likely he will get sentenced a few years, though, with probation to follow. A FEW YEARS in JAIL!!?? For SPEAKING???????????? It would be a very sad thing to see that happen.

WE ARE ASKING ANYONE who has been touched or affected by Christopher's thousands of various art, musical and political projects over his 15 years in NYC to please consider doing one or more of the following things, #s 1 and 2 being the MOST important, 1 being the MOST important of all.

1. Please write Judge Neil Ross a postcard or letter explaining that you know Christopher to be a harmless and beneficial artist, musician and politician if you find this to be true. If you have a project involving Christopher coming up, such as a show where he was scheduled to perform or work, please mention it. If you voted for him when he ran for mayor, please mention that. If you respect him or his work in any capacity, please mention that. Please mention that you do not know Christopher to be a violent person if that is your experience, and anything relating to that. Note that Christopher has been a Lower East Side resident and artist creating positive and imaginative art for the past 15 years, if you know this to be true. Please ask that Christopher be given probation or community service instead of having to do jail time. Mention that many violent criminals don't have to do jail time. Mention that you don't want YOUR tax dollars being spent imprisoning artists. Please do not insult the judge or the courts, even though it might be tempting. If you will write a letter or postcard, please do it ASAP and send it to:

Judge Neil Ross
c/o 100 Center St.
NY, NY 10007

On any piece of mail sent to the judge, please write on it somewhere, RE: CHRISTOPHER X. BRODEUR or something to that effect. Please ask three friends to do the same. List this on your blog and forward it to anyone you know who cares about free speech. This will only take a moment and only costs one stamp. Please do this if you can.

2. PLEASE come to Christopher's court date on March 8th. It is important that the judge and court see that Christopher is a member of a community of artists and activists and he is appreciated and loved. Yes, you might have to get up early, and be in criminal court at 100 Center St. at 9:45 am. If you can't get there that early, just come a little later.

3. If you know a lawyer, a powerful person with activism or free speech interests, a group of people who somehow want to get involved in this cause or are a friend of Christopher's, please forward this message, put it on your website, print it out, copy it and leave it on bus seats. Please help keep freedom alive. This may seem small and insignificant, but it is part of a much larger liberty that we all MUST hold dear and protect, or we will LOSE it. If you know Christopher, you know him to SPEAK his mind. This is a right we have, but we are losing that right more and more every day. Remember, he is in JAIL (currently he is in the TOMBS, to be transported to RIKER'S ISLAND(!!!) possibly for MANY YEARS, because of WORDS HE SAID.

4. Visit www.mayorbrodeur.org if you are not familiar with Christopher X. Brodeur.

THANK YOU dearly.

It doesn't take much to help him out, folks. Please send a note to the judge.

Lindsay Lohan reportedly hates being called a "teen queen" and has worked overtime to free herself of that stifling Disney image (hint: lots of nudity usually does the trick). Now it looks like Anne Hathaway is barreling down the same trashy runway.

The former Princess Diaries star did last year's highly dirty straight-to-video Havoc, which has a description on IMDb that I'm just going to let speak for itself:

Then she did Brokeback Mountain, and got topless with impressive gusto while in the backseat with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Now she's announced plans to star in Judd Apatow's next movie, the tastefully titled Knocked Up. This movie is about a one-night stand that results in Hathaway getting knocked up. Seth Rogen is also slated to star in this movie, so it might be better than the title and premise suggest. And if Anne has anything to say about it, it will definitely feature her using lots of swear words, getting naked, and giving the finger to Julie Andrews.

Yeah! That'll show 'em!

This has been the worst, most flagrantly implausible season of 24 yet. Where to begin? Kiefer docilely going along with terrible plans designed by inept leaders, that moronic storyline from last week about the nerve gas in the mall, surprisingly unfocused Chechen terrorists who abandon their missions after months of planning, and decide that killing Americans is close enough to killing Russians. Plus flagrant rip-offs from earlier seasons, like the 15 year-old sex slave grabbing Kiefer's gun and shooting her abuser last week, just like the aide stabbing her lying Serbian lover with the letter opener in season 1. "But we needed him alive! He was the only link to the nerve gas/Dennis Hopper!" Snore.

This week's episode introduced a few techniques that at least make for better television, even if we have seen some of them before. Namely, Kiefer Going Renegade: the only time anything exciting happens on this show anymore is when Kiefer knocks out his boss, colleague, or girlfriend for their own good (and for the good of the country) and takes control of an impossible situation.

Which this week led to a great helicopter shoot-out scene in one of the thousands of giant abandoned warehouses that seem to be all over LA, ending with one in a long line of shady government figures bleeding from the mouth and dying in Kiefer's arms. "My pocket," he said with his dying breath as Kiefer tenderly clutched his face, directing him to a memory card with DoD files on it, and maybe a Tootsie Roll.

Also following standard 24 season structure, the main terrorist got killed by the emergent real main terrorist, who this season looks like it's going to be Julian Sands. He plays bloody-minded assassin Vladimir Bierko who will stop at nothing to kill the Russian president, so I guess he's supposed to be Chechan, even though he's blonde and British and is played by Julian Sands. Note that Sands also appeared briefly on The L Word, playing an old professor of original 24 ultra-vixen Mia Kirshner.

I wonder what other stars from The L Word could also be put to good use on 24? Maybe they can get Pam Grier to play Kim Bauer's manager at her crappy post-CTU job at CompUSA.

"U.S. President George W. Bush (C) sniffs a bottle of ethanol derived from various biological products as he tours the National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colorado February 21, 2006."

In the spirit of community activism, today we are launching a new social movement: The Amy's Robot Subway Vomit Campaign™.

MTA Service: NYC Transit Subway
Category: Complaint
Date/Time of Event: 02/13/2006 06:00 PM
Location of Event: 42nd Street A/C/E Downtown Platform

Customer (Emily) - 02/14/2006 03:06 PM

Dear MTA -

I'm writing because of an ongoing station maintenance issue. On Friday, February 3, a large pile of puke appeared on the northernmost staircase leading to the A/C/E downtown platform at the 42nd Street subway station. When I entered the station around 6:00 pm and was almost shoved directly into the pile by passengers exiting the downtown C train, it appeared quite fresh.

I assumed this issue had been addressed by a cleaner, but last Friday, February 10, the same pile of vomit was still there. It was clearly the existing pile of Feb. 3, as it was now quite crusty. That evening, I called the city's 311 number and was transferred to an MTA voicemail, where I left a message about the vomit.

However, yesterday, February 13, I saw that the vomit (now indelibly dried to the staircase) is still there. While I understand that TWU members are still without a contract, and that resources are tight, I am pleading with you to please have this situation remedied. It is a danger to myself and other riders to have to "hurl" ourselves, so to speak, into the middle of such a crowded staircase to avoid being covered to the ankles in puke.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Subject: Vomit on northernmost platform staircase
Response (MTA) - 02/15/2006 11:41 AM

This is in response to your recent e-mail message to MTA New York City Transit regarding the condition of a staircase at the 42nd Street station on the A/C/E lines.

Plesae note that the safety of our customers is our highest priority. Supervision conducts regular inspections of all areas of our stations, including platforms, stairways and tracks, to ensure proper conditions. Stations are routinely cleaned, and cleaners are instructed to remove litter, empty trash receptacles and disinfect unsanitary areas upon detection. In addition, stations are cleaned on a regular cycle by mobile wash teams using high pressure and hot water to thoroughly steam clean and sanitize the stairways, platforms and other areas. They are also instructed to take corrective measures when rodent infestation is detected. Accordingly, supervision will also investigate your concerns regarding cleanliness of this station and take the necessary measures to correct the
conditions you reported.

For the future, we ask that you contact our Department of Subways' Division of Service Delivery at (718) 243-3222, or write to the Division of Service Delivery, Complaints and Correspondence, 130 Livingston Plaza, Room 6008B, Brooklyn, NY 11201, regarding this type of issue.

MTA Service: NYC Transit Subway
Category: Complaint

Customer (Emily) - 02/17/2006 09:15 AM

Thank you for your reply. While I realize that I made an error in reporting the vomit (it turns out to be the third staircase, not the first - the one next to the handicapped ramp), as of last night, the vomit is still there. However, if your "mobile wash teams" are in fact circulating, I imagine they would have reached both of these staircases by now.

I appreciate that you would rather receive this information via phone or standard mail, but my previous phone message did not seem to have an effect, and a letter would add another several days toward remedying a situation that has now continued for almost two weeks. Instead, I have chosen to take a picture of the vomit every day that it remains and post it online at www.amysrobot.com until this situation is resolved. I ask you again to please remedy this situation soon.

Amy's Robot Subway Vomit Campaign: Day 1
(Picture Taken Thurs, February 16 - 13 days after vomit first appeared)

Amy's Robot Subway Vomit Campaign: Day 5, morning

Subject: Continued Vomit on Stairs
Response (MTA) - 02/21/2006 10:03 AM

This is in response to your recent e-mail message to MTA New York City Transit informing us that vomit still remains on the Third stairwell of the 42nd street station on the A/C/E lines.

Once again, please note that the safety of our customers is our highest priority. With regard to your second e-mail message, we have forwarded your concerns regarding this matter to supervision in the appropriate operating department for their investigation.

As stated in your previous e-mail message, Supervision conducts regular inspections of all areas of our stations, including platforms, stairways and tracks, to ensure proper conditions. Stations are routinely cleaned, and cleaners are instructed to remove litter, empty trash receptacles and disinfect unsanitary areas upon detection. In addition, stations are cleaned on a regular cycle by mobile wash teams using high pressure and hot water to thoroughly steam clean and sanitize the stairways, platforms and other areas. They are also instructed to take corrective measures when rodent infestation is detected. We have forwarded your concerns to supervision in the appropriate operating department for their investigation.

Amy's Robot Subway Vomit Campaign: Day 5, evening - VICTORY!
Tuesday, February 21, 6:00 pm

Finally, success! A mere 18 days after it appeared, the puke has been cleaned.

Of course, judging from the smell it was powerwashed off with urine - but we'll stick to one campaign at a time.

In a new low of cheap exploitation of real grief and loss, a film crew from upcoming Colin Farrell movie about the NYPD, Pride and Glory, showed up at Monday's funeral of NYPD officer Eric Hernandez in White Plains and filmed the procession at St. Bernard's Church. Hernandez is the 24 year-old cop who was shot while off-duty by a fellow cop who didn't know who he was, after being beaten by a group of men at a White Castle.

Hernandez was allegedly scheduled to be an extra in the movie, and when the producers learned of his death, they wanted to get some footage of the funeral to use as a guide in creating a police funeral scene in the movie. But they didn't think to mention their plans to the family until afterwards.

"I didn't even know who Colin Farrell was. I don't know how I feel about this," said Eric's father Efrain Hernandez, who says he didn't give permission for Colin Farrell to attend the funeral or for a camera crew to film. His mother and aunt called the filming exploitative.

One the upside, the film producers are paying for Hernandez's headstone. And they're going to do a little tribute to him at the end of the movie, which I guess now he could appear in after all, though posthumously. How sentimental.

A post-Valentine's Day quiz about the very special Valentine's Day social dinner held at the White House last night, which featured a short concert by Michael Feinstein including "Great Balls of Fire" and, of course, "Laura".

Complete the following sentence:

Celebrated singer of American standards Michael Feinstein is laughing...

a) because our President trying to sing and dance really is that hilarious.

b) because he is a sycophantic suck-up who loves Republicans.

c) to show fellow guest Chuck Norris how enchanting and full of life he is.

d) to keep from crying, just like on M*A*S*H.

e) all the way to the bank.

Today Bush awarded 15 National Medals of Science and Technology to some of the most revolutionary, innovative thinkers in our country. And George Lucas.

Bush said, "From Thomas Edison's light bulb to Robert Ledley's CAT scan machine, most of America's revolutionary inventions began with men and women with a vision to see beyond what is and the desire to pursue what might be," which in George Lucas' case apparently means seeing beyond your universally loved trilogy of movies and pursuing what might be the lamest, most disappointing climax possible to the cinematic mythology that defined our young generation.

Recipients contributed important work in genetics, found whole new fields of mathematics, created GPS technology, developed the semiconductors we use in pretty much all our consumer electronics, and greatly improved detection of HIV and Hepatitis C. And seriously thought that Hayden Christensen was a good choice to embody the eternal struggle between good and evil.

Way to go, George Lucas! At least you also made some decent video games.

For the first of its final four episodes that aired Friday night, Arrested Development dug up former American Idol nano-celeb William Hung to lead the house band ("William Hung and his Hung Jury") for its show-within-a-show, Mock Trial with J. Reinhold (renamed at the last minute from the catchier Judge Reinhold). The show managed to squeeze three brief musical numbers into scene that was only about 90 seconds long, but apparently Hung is so bad, they didn't even let him sing the second song (a cover of "It Ain't Easy Being White, It Ain't Easy Being Brown", the famous duet featuring GOB and his puppet Franklin).

In any case here's the video:

• Intro (2.3 mb, mpeg4)
• Outro (3.3 mb, mpeg4

Both videos are iPod-compatible.

Tonight, Fox is airing the last four episodes of Arrested Development. Our campaign over at Save Arrested Development.com has been going strong since we launched it, but we're sending in the pledges that people signed on Monday, so please get over there and sign the pledge of your choice:

• I pledge to subscribe to whatever premium cable (like Showtime) saves Arrested Development.
• I pledge to watch Arrested Development on whatever basic cable or broadcast network saves the show, and to support the companies that advertise on the show.

If the pledges don't save the show, we're going to enlist Lebanese cartoon protesters to make our point for us.

Some countries' governments still get into fist-fights during their parliamentary sessions.

From Reuters: "Communist deputies scuffle with members of parliament loyal to President Viktor Yushchenko before the president's annual State of the Nation address to the chamber in Kiev, February 9, 2006. Yushchenko proposed breaking a legal logjam with parliament by creating a commission to draft a new version of the constitution to be submitted to a referendum."

OK, Congress, let's see a few flying fists on the red carpet at next year's State of the Union. Anyone who knocks the wind out of Rick Santorum gets a free pizza.

What's the U.S. Army to do when its go-to population for new recruits becomes disillusioned and stops enlisting? African-Americans represented 22% of new Army recruits 4 years ago, and now make up only 14%. How about moving on to another population of young people that are poorer, less educated, and have fewer job opportunities than average?

Yes, the Army is recruiting hard among Latino teens. As the NY Times reports, in cities with high Latino populations, those young people have become a top priority for the military. Latinos make up the fastest growing pool of military-age people, and as Lt. Col. Jeffrey Brodeur, commanding officer at the recruitment office for several western states says, "They are extremely patriotic."

However patriotic they may be, these kids also have parents, many of whom are wary of the recruiters that don't speak their language. And, you know, are trying to convince their kids to go off to war. "My parents think I'm going to go in the Army and die, but I wanted to do it," said an 18 year-old who has already enlisted and will go to boot camp once he graduates from high school.

The military can be an effective way to get out of poverty, but poor people who aren't white have historically been better represented on the front lines than among officers. The Times says, "Critics say that Latinos often wind up as cannon fodder on the casualty-prone front lines. African-Americans saw the same thing happen during the 1970's and 1980's, an accusation that still reverberates. Hispanics make up only 4.7 percent of the military's officer corps."

Let's just call this new initiative Operation: Escudo Humano.

For a good gauge of what's on America's collective mind, it's always helpful to turn to the "Mailbag" section of People magazine - particularly the responses to hard-hitting journalistic investigations like the recent "Half their Size! - No Surgery, No Gimmicks, Real People, Real Success!"

"This issue is a great motivator for those who have trouble losing weight. Thanks again!" writes Nick Hammond, of Phoenix, AZ in People's January 30 issue. "Another inspiring issue!" applauds Sharon Chalmers of Suwanee, GA. "Each of your featured losers should be quite proud of their accomplishments!" And...

I hear you, Shoshana. If only we could all look as good as we did in 2003.

It's been awhile since we brought you a comprehensive roundup of the women who have taken their clothes off in public as a career-advancing strategy. So here's who is going to appear naked on the cover of the upcoming Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair:

• Scarlett Johansson (surprise!)


• Keira Knightley (so much for that "Academy Award Nominee" lustre)

And who isn't:

• Rachel McAdams

Also appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair is designer Tom Ford, who is fully clothed (surprise!) About Rachel McAdams, he says, "She did want to do it, and then when she was on the set I think she felt uncomfortable." Maybe she did feel uncomfortable... about what sometimes happens to young actresses' careers when they start taking their clothes off in public venues that aren't related to acting.

It's a choice every pretty young actress has to face: whether to go the Brittany Murphy/WB series star route and pose naked for some magazine, or take Natalie Portman's more reserved approach: "Young actors often don't think of the consequences of doing nudity or sex scenes. They want the role so badly that they agree to be exploited." Which is I guess why she asked for her brief nude scene in Closer to be cut.

Rachel McAdams has made some good career moves so far and has gotten a lot of "It" girl talk, but oddly doesn't have any announced new movies. Maybe she wants to hold off on the random nudity until she gets some new work.

Well, at least Scarlett finally got her wish to appear naked on camera, after that prudish Michael Bay insisted that she keep her bra on in The Island.

Wu Xianghu, a Chinese newspaper editor, has died from his injuries after Chinese traffic police "beat him up for an expose about exorbitant electric bicycle licence fees."

Google News has lots to say about it:

What about Google News at Google.cn? Well, not so much:

Keep up the good work, Google! We thank you on behalf of the billion+ Chinese people who have no idea this is even an issue.

[Thanks to computerbytesman's side-by-side comparison tool that made this easier.]

Remember in 2004 when Maureen Dowd referenced a joke in an Ali G interview with James Baker about the similarity of the words "Iraq" and "Iran" and the potential danger of attacking the wrong country ("Bomb Ira-")? She pointed out that this joke had sort of come true: "Well, as it turns out, we did bomb the wrong Ira-."

In recent years there have also been some easy jokes made about the Catholic church and its child abuse scandals that went like this:

You know who the Catholics could bring in to see them through these scandals and restore their public image? MICHAEL JACKSON! Or:

You know who would be a good new Pope who could show the world that the church is in touch with recent events? MICHAEL JACKSON!

So today there's another joke:

You know who the Catholics should hire to set John Paul II's prayers and chants to music? MICHAEL JACKSON!

And like "bomb Ira-", it's come true.

On Senator Pete Domenici's face, the agony and the ecstasy.

More on Bush's NM visit.

Last night's State of the Union address saw our President somewhat less ambitious and cocky than in earlier speeches. Alessandra Stanley thought he looked "defensive". And as AP found during interviews with viewers across the country, Bush has good reason to feel less sure of himself: Americans are finally seeing through the bullshit, even when he talks about topics everyone can relate to, like the economy and education. Nice timing, America.

Here are a few excerpts:

But some Bush supporters stood behind the speech. Particularly the young, moronic, selfish ones.

Jesse. Could some of your false sense of security come from the fact that you live in DENVER? Do you want the president to protect our entire country, or just you and your high-fiving friends on your college campus?