October 21, 2003
Joe Millionaire: Euro Babes Get Screwed Over
Last night's premiere episode of The Next Joe Millionaire features 14 European hotties that, already, are significantly funnier and more charming than the American girls on these shows. By which I mean, they drink more. These girls sure do know how to get wasted and make fun of the American West, cowboys, rodeos ("Whaht ees a rohh-deee-ohhh?" "Eet's like a... festival... with horses"), Texas, line dancing, and the TV show Dallas, all of which they do mercilessly, despite believing that the bachelor in question is worth $80 million. While they might start out more entertaining and likeable than the girls on the first Joe Millionaire, the previews suggest that it all ends up the way we all know it will: tears, recriminations, Germans screaming "I hate that bitch!", too-tan Swedes blithely saying "I suppose these girls are just jealous," and lots of tongue-hockey.
Favorite moments that demonstrate the cross-cultural genius of this show: During David the Cowboy's education about the basics of European countries, languages, and cultures, the butler Paul says:
Paul: "In Italy for example, the casual way of saying hello or goodbye is the same which is Ciao."
Paul: "So Ciao means...?"
David: "Not sure...food?"
Also, one of the German girls saying to the camera, "What I wonder is, does he spend all of his time at the ranch in his village? Or does he also go clubbing?"