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November 19, 2003
The Pre-Laura Bachelor Mini-Recap [updated]
Laura will weigh in when she gets a minute [update: Laura is working on several nights without sleep, but is staying up even longer to bang out that recap...so just hang in there. -adm], but in the meantime:
We was robbed! Bob chose Estella?! CRAP. I called my bookie halfway through and put a yard down on Kelly Jo. I thought it was a sure thing! How can you deny that chemistry? All Bob could talk about was how great she was, and then he/ABC pulls the old switcheroo on Kelly Jo and us AGAIN (just like The Bachelorette last year! Will we never learn?) and we are left WITH NOTHING, and Estella is left with THE RING -- albeit on her right hand, which apparently in some cultures signifies (according to Bob) "a promise." A promise that I'm going to sleep with you as often as possible until I decide whether I want to move that ring over to your other hand, that is.
Kelly Jo says she wants someone to give her as much love as she can give him? KJ, I'm your man! I have so much love to give, and I will slurp your lips by the fireside repeatedly until you love me back. What? You have to be the center of attention everywhere you go and my mom doesn't really like you either? What's that? You only like reading romance novels? What? You wear a sexy-but-weird metal clip across your boobs on the biggest day of your life? Um, well, you know what, um, on second thought, I take it all back. I guess I would have chosen Estella, too. -adm
