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March 2, 2004
Average Joes, Average Janes
In this case, Larissa followed her "instincts" and chose Gil over the Boston-accented Brian. These are the same instincts that a few episode ago led her to hold on to another guy who called her a "beaver" and purposely blew up her rowboat when she was on a date with the sensitive artist. So it's no surprise that her relationship with Gil tanked about 3 days later when....and this is may be the greatest twist in the history of the show*....she revealed to him that HER PREVIOUS BOYFRIEND WAS FABIO. Incredibly, Gil broke up with her because of this, and archly packed his bags and left, leaving her alone and rejected in Cabo San Lucas. He explained himself thusly, "Put yourself in my position. Now you know why I did it." What are you talking about? Your position is that this girl, who seems relatively nice, smart, and pretty, wants to be with you. And you're so insecure, you break up with her because she dated Fabio? Who fricking cares she dated Fabio.
I was hoping Larissa would get on a plane and try to reconcile with Brian (pictured above), whom she had devastated a few days earlier, but that wasn't in the cards. I guess he'll have to re-establish that "steel bawx" around his heart now.
This second consecutive defeat of the Average Joes made me feel a little sick to my stomach, since although it was obvious that Larissa and Brian weren't meant to be together, it was heart-achingly clear how much he wanted to be with her and that he was better for her than Gil. What really ticked me off is she kept pressing Brian to open up to her emotionally, and then she said she chose Gil because he was so emotionally-closed and "intriguing."
What is with these hot girls ignoring all the signs that they'd be happier with the average guy? I don't want to believe it, but it seems like they really couldn't accept the guys based on their personalities, even though both were at least average looking. In both cases, the "average" guys (especially Adam) proved themselves to be decidedly unaverage, and the hot guys (who ended up getting picked) showed that apart from their looks, they were indeed quite average (poor at conversation, lived with parents, etc.) Does being hot cloud your judgment? Apparently.
Although I felt America (and by "America," I mean "me") needed Larissa to pick Brian, I'm now turning my optimism to Adam's return in Average Joe 3, in which he'll get a chance to meet a decent girl whose "instincts" are a little better than Melana's and Larissa's.
By the way, did you know that both Melana and Larissa were Miss Missouris? Consecutively?
*Maybe this is what she meant when she said in a press appearance a few months ago, "It's something that's gonna be written about in history books."
