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January 18, 2005


Amy's Robot Policy Announcement

To readers anxiously awaiting Amy's Robot Golden Globe coverage:

The past few months have been a time of serious self-reflection for the editorial staff of Amy's Robot. In the wake of a disastrous presidential election, the rising death toll in Iraq, and the devastating tsunami in Southeast Asia, we can no longer in good conscience cover celebrity and entertainment news. Serious times call for serious debate of the substantial issues facing our world. These issues are larger than bogus awards ceremonies, star couplings, and idle speculation about celebrity plastic surgery.

No, we're totally kidding. Unfortunately, we are unable to present our usual exhaustive analysis due to pressing bar and dinner party obligations. But we would never leave you totally in the lurch. Below are a few issues from a largely blah Golden Globe night that we felt worth mentioning:

I'm Ready for My Montage, Mr. DeMille:
Seriously, who puts together the Cecil B. DeMille award clips? I'm convinced it's someone who hates actors. Each ceremony's tribute reads like a celebrity roast. Last year's Michael Douglas montage focused on his vital work in films such as Black Rain and Basic Instinct. Similarly, Robin Williams' 2005 presentation immortalized his performance in the universally reviled Patch Adams without mentioning the movie that actually proved he could act, The World According to Garp.

Grow up, Natalie Portman:
Natalie, we understand that you're milking the whole breathless ingenue thing, but it is gross to refer to Mike Nichols as your "Daddy." Also, now that you've been an ingenue for 12 years, maybe it's time to stop dressing and speaking like you're in middle school.

On the Other Hand....
Hilary Swank, you are a classy lady and a great actress and we love you. That is all.

Why are Rock Stars so Much Cooler than Actors?
Prince, we totally don't know why you presented the clips for Ray, but we would like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press, your manager, and your pert little behind.

Mick Jagger, you may be 107 years old, but you are still the sexiest beast on the planet. Seeing Mick slink around the stage in his shiny pants after the parade of characterless presenters and tight-faced award winners makes you realize the difference between truly great rock stars and even the best of today's actors. His effortless charisma knocked everyone else off the stage, out of the building, and back into their Prius hybrids.

And finally, I feel for you, Ellen, because this is totally how I'd look if Robin Williams kissed me:
Ellen degeneres Robin Williams kissing

Other Tidbits:
USA Today blogs the Globes
List of Winners [Hollywood Foreign Press Association]

categories: Celebrities, Culture, Media, Movies, TV
posted by Emily at 3:31 PM | #

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