November 8, 2005
NYC Mayoral Election Voter Guide
It's election day! And while a non-Presidential, non-midterm election is difficult to get excited about, there are a few races that are worth some attention, such as the Virginia and New Jersey governor elections. The residents of these states might shed some light on how recent public displeasure with the administration plays out in the polls.
And then there's the most useless waste of an election in recent history: the vote for New York Mayor. Let's take a look at the candidates:
Michael Bloomberg, Republican: Decisive leader, decent manager, questionable politician. Brought the goddamn RNC to New York. Tried to make all establishments open past 1:00 AM get a new heavily bureaucratic "nightlife license". Sort of a dipshit.
Freddy Ferrer, Democrat: As far as anyone can tell, has not accomplished anything of note in his whole political history. Has been essentially unemployed since losing the 2001 primary election. Completely unable to inspire any sustained enthusiasm in a city that is overwhelmingly Democratic. This is the best we can do?
And the others you've never heard of:
Seth Blum, Education: High school math teacher interested in improving NYC public schools. And is against rodent infestation. OK great, dude, but there are more issues in this city than schools.
Anthony Gronowicz, Green: CUNY professor. Wants cleaner energy sources and mass transit, rent regulation, and some nice sounding neighborhood food co-ops. Looks like a nice enough guy, maybe not so in touch with regular people.
Audrey Silk, Libertarian: Retired police officer. Like your typical libertarian, wants to repeal the smoking ban, lower taxes, and deregulate zoning and everything in any way related to business. Doesn't seem to have the first clue about how regular people live their lives in this city.
Jimmy McMillan, Rent is Too Damn High: Vietnam vet, nutcase, tries to be more than a one-issue candidate, yet works "the rent is too damn high" into every sentence in all of his campaign materials. Last time he ran for Mayor he got tied to a tree and doused in gasoline; is a karate expert; apparently hates Jews.
It's a sad state of affairs. I can't in good faith endorse any of these candidates, so the best I can offer is to write in Christopher X. Brodeur, who sadly didn't make it past the primary, and is probably still in trouble for threatening to kill a journalist at the Observer.
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