February 7, 2008
Romney fights terrorism by quitting
Not because he doesn't think he can win. But because if he stayed in the running, the terrorists would win.
During his speech, he said:
That'll show 'em! Try splitting the vote now, insurgents!
The only downsides I can see to this news are that Romney's telegenic press secretary, Kevin "Mitt but handsomer" Madden, won't be on TV anymore. Same for Tagg, everyone's favorite Romney boy. Sorry, Tagg-hags!
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