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July 24, 2008


Rocky Horror recast

Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture Show

MTV has joined with Fox Television to do a remake of every high school Drama Club geek's favorite midnight movie, Rocky Horror Picture Show. I guess it will be for TV?

OK, it's not very cool to admit that I have been to a few of these screenings, complete with a shadow cast in front of the screen, props, and a theater full of assistant stage managers singing along to "Time Warp". A long time ago. But I agree with some of the very indignant Wired commenters that this will be a tough remake to pull off without enraging a lot of devoted fans.

So let's think about recasting. The cast for a Rocky Horror remake needs to be energetic and funny and able to camp it up and dance in heels and fishnets. And ideally also sing.

Here's what I've got:

Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Tim Curry was in the original. I want to see Alan Cumming, who could generate the appropriate level of drag flamboyance (as he demonstrated in the Lincoln Center production of The Bacchae recently.) Or maybe, and I know I'm going out on a limb here, Robert Downey, Jr. He's gotten himself together now, but I think he's still just unhinged enough to make it work.

Brad, the Eagle Scout do-gooder waiting to be corrupted. Barry Bostwick in the original, who later went onto "Spin City" and the forthcoming Hannah Montana movie. I think this would be perfect for Chris Klein, who needs a good comeback. Or how about this one: Justin Timberlake! He was great in Southland Tales and Black Snake Moan and has no problem with campy choreography. I'd love to see him in drag.

Janet. A very young Susan Sarandon in the original, which is still hard to believe. I'd like to see Amy Adams in the remake. She's really funny, so she'll be good at the blushing, nice-girl part at the start of the movie, and I bet she can vamp it up for the slutty transformation.

Riff Raff. Richard O'Brien in the original. We need someone who can play a sort of weirdly sexy creepy ghoul from outer space. I'm going for Rhys Ifans, or, even better, Seth Green.

Magenta. Patricia Quinn in the original, who I definitely haven't seen in anything else she's done since RHPS. We need a scary/sexy alien for this one. How about either Asia Argento, who is terrifying and hot, or maybe Pink, who is mostly just terrifying.

Eddie. It was good old Meat Loaf in the original. Kid Rock could do a good job as a crazy undead rockabilly lobotomy victim, but I think an aging, puffy, crinkly Sebastian Bach might be good too.

Columbia. Nell Campbell in the original, whose career has not taken off since. Best choice is Scarlett Johansson. I've really lost faith in her movie choices lately, but I bet she's still good in comedies, and would look great in a gold-sequined tap dancing outfit.

Then Brian Cox can play old Dr. Scott in the wheelchair.

What about Rocky? The blonde sexbot hunk of chiseled beef? Either some nameless gay porn star could do it (the original Rocky didn't have much of a legitimate career, either) or a prettyboy heartthrob, like Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl. Is he hunky enough?

categories: Celebrities, Movies, TV
posted by amy at 1:46 PM | #

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I'm surprised you didn't suggest Michael Cera for Brad. Brad's main feature is that he's embarrassed and only comes out of his shell when he puts on fishnet stockings and a feather boa (no one ever said RHPS was a good movie) and if Michael Cera could actually pull off Brad's exuberance that might work.

Is it lame to say Ewan McGregor would make a good Riff Raff? He's younger than Rhys Ifans and doesn't look like he's been run over by a dumptruck. He did a good job back in Velvet Goldmine.

And as for Rocky, Jessie Pavelka. Not a gay porn star yet, but judging by his Facebook admirers' group that door's open whenever he wants to go through it.

Posted by: T-Rock at July 29, 2008 3:07 PM

You're not going to believe this, but on the piece of paper on which I was writing down recasting ideas, I actually had Ewan McGregor as a potential Riff Raff. And, actually I had him for Eddie, too. I had to go back and read the post because I thought I'd suggested him for at least one of those, but I guess I must have decided it was lame to say Ewan McGregor would make a good Riff Raff/Eddie, but clearly that decision was wrong.

Posted by: Amy at July 29, 2008 3:20 PM

That list made me want to cry. I'm sorry, but Robert Downy Jr. and Alan Cummings? Seriously? Really? Come on! Atleast give the movie some fucking dignity. They'd have some pretty damn big drag queen shoes to fill, and Tim Curry had some pretty damn big ass shoes. The others are just as bad, although I can respect Seth Green and Brian Cox. I mean, for the love of God, Justin Timberlake? Come on! I think the whole idea of remaking it is messed up in the first place. The only reason they would ruin an already amazingly brilliant, wicked cult movie is because they don't have any other ideas; it's sad. And people want to remake it with some of today's, for lack of a better term, idiotic, commercialized, unpassionate actors? It's a cult film for christ's sake.

Posted by: Coral at October 13, 2008 1:32 AM

Hi Coral. So, assuming this misguided remake is in fact going to happen, what would your casting picks be?

Posted by: Amy at October 13, 2008 1:30 PM

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