« Joe Millionaire: The Long Last Gasp | Home | Babies + Cockroaches = Angry Brits »

November 12, 2003


24: Secret Crushes Revealed

Lots of magical things happened on last night's episode of the Season of Nonevents and Nonmurders at 24. The immediate, full-force, chainsaw-weilding attack of the CDC people on the non-drug-dealing kid's apartment, and the tasteful use of plastic shower curtains to seal off the virus were thrilling, and probably one of the more interesting sets the show's designers have gotten to do. Also ingenious was the headset that Kiefer wears inside his CDC spacesuit, and the scene in which he learns of the lawyer's murder, lurches into a super-fast biohazard shower, emerges from all the shower curtains, rips off his spacesuit helmet, and pukes. And the nearly instantaneous chemical analysis of the non-cocaine using some kind of virus-to-ethernet interface, via a laptop, was the most baffling use of whatever technology yet this season. I was already wavering on this season, I admit. But now that everybody's secret crush, Tony Almeida, has been shot in the neck, and lies bleeding and writhing on the second story floor of the Los Feliz mall, well, I guess they got my attention. Tony, just so you know, I am momentarily redirecting my ardent celebrity love for Mark Ruffalo to you, with the hope that my passion will cauterize your wounds. Please don't die. -amy

Amy, that is very selfless of you to you redirect your love for Ruffalo to Tony so that he will live, but that is a slippery slope. Ruffalo's floppy penis, as exhibited in In the Cut, has a mind of its own, and it may not respond well to your lack of attention. Instead, you should submit to Ruffalo's fleshy member -- as it wants you to -- and ask it to use its healing powers on Tony. Shot in the neck? Only one thing can save him now: the life-giving powers of Ruffalo's floppy love shaft. -adm

categories: TV
posted by amy at 9:48 AM | #


Post a comment

Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)