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November 9, 2011


Now R. Kelly has an autobiography

The title and cover of R. Kelly's autobiography were just released. This is it:

R. Kelly's Soulacoaster

Kelly announced that he was writing this book two years ago, because he was "tired of being misunderstood." Finally, we'll get a chance to hear straight from the man himself (and his co-writer) about his protracted court case for having sex with and peeing on an underage girl, what was happening with that midget ("Midget! Midget! Midget!") in his hip hopera opus "Trapped in the Closet", his illegal marriage to/impregnation of a 15 year-old Aaliyah, and his forthcoming album "Black Panties".

About the title, Soulacoaster. It's everything we've come to expect from Mr. Kelly: nonsensical, grandiose, funny, and painful. It's so far removed from having any meaning that I don't think you could really call it a metaphor. The photo makes R. Kelly look simultaneously like an egomaniac and a reluctant star. Like, does he want all those microphones to be there? Or is he angstily dismissing them, like, he's gotta get off this crazy Soulacoaster? Does he think he's Jesus in Ray-Bans?

Well, the book comes out next week, and R. Kelly is a born quote machine--one of my favorites, from 2004: "In life, you have people that love to party. That's me. People that love God. That's me. People that love sex. That's me. People that love people. That's me. And people that make mistakes. That's me also." So get ready for an avalanche of breathless excerpting all over the internet.

categories: Books, Celebrities, Music
posted by amy at 2:16 PM | #

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Spare a moment, if you can, to think of poor David Ritz, who had to ghostwrite this Titanic of crap.

Posted by: T-Rock at November 9, 2011 8:12 PM

David Ritz has had a fascinating career. Writing autobiographies with Aretha Franklin, Etta James, Grandmaster Flash, and Lieber & Stoller was probably amazingly cool, the kind of job celebrity writers and music lovers dream about.

But trying to create coherent autobiographies out of the bankruptcies, overdoses, domestic violence charges, and dwindling careers of Scott Weiland, R. Kelly, and Sinbad sounds like hell. He deserves every penny of whatever he's getting out of this.

Posted by: amy at November 10, 2011 4:19 PM

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